How to Keep Creating When No One is Watching…Yet
My YouTube presence in 2025 was all over the place. I would say I was “back,” upload a few videos, then disappear for months.
Then I would have the nerve to get in my feelings when the numbers didn’t look anything like my Brown Vegan era.
Insanity. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it felt heavy.
The truth is simple... I have been way too connected to the results.
How many views.
How many likes.
How fast something grows.
How slow something moves.
When you create from that mindset, it is almost impossible to enjoy the process.
It is even harder to stay consistent, because the numbers start to feel personal. A low view count feels like a comment on your worth. A slow start feels like a setback.
Outside of my lack of online presence, my channel is a lot quieter now because I lost thousands of subscribers over the last year. This was expected…
When you take long breaks, shift your content, and step away from being the “vegan-only” creator people originally subscribed to, the audience will change.
Some assumed I would start showing meat. Others had no idea where I was headed. That is the cost of pivoting.
The Shift
These days, I’m creating in a quieter place. Some days it feels like I’m talking to myself.
Instead of fighting that, I am learning to appreciate it.
This season gives me the space to experiment, to grow, and to show up without pressure. It gives me room to build consistency without a spotlight on me.
This shift helped me enjoy creating again. It took the heaviness away. It reminded me that rebuilding is normal. Pivoting is normal. Starting over is normal. And it is so much easier to be consistent when you stop letting the results define you.
Message to my fellow creators…
If you are creating with a small audience right now, I am right here with you.
Create anyway.
Show up anyway.
Keep going anyway.
Let’s keep going together.
P.S. I also made a YouTube video about this topic…
Money Habits I’m Building at 44
I was watching a woman on TikTok live the other day and it reminded me of something… Most money conversations online are geared toward people under 40.
It’s great for them, but what about the rest of us who are starting later, rebuilding, or just getting serious now?
I turned 44 this year.
I am finally in a place where I can step back, look at my life, and say,
“Okay, it is time to build real habits that support the future I want.”
Why I Am Doing This at 44
Life happened. Mental health happened. Divorce happened. Career changes happened. Some seasons were rough. But I am here now and that counts. I am changing the direction of my finances now and that still matters.
I decided I want to be one of the voices out here talking about what it looks like to build wealth and stability later.
Not perfect…Just real.
Habit 1: Increasing My Income
I have always had an income issue. I do not make enough at my current job, and it shows when I try to budget. You can cut things down as much as you want, but sometimes the numbers still do not work because there simply is not enough money coming in.
My goal is to increase my income by at least $12,000 in 2026. I am exploring a part-time job, and of course content creation.
Something has to give, and this is the year I am choosing to go after it!
Habit 2: Building a Small Emergency Fund - $2K
I do not have an emergency fund yet, and I am not ashamed to say that because I am fixing it. I am more focused on what I am doing next than where I started.
Habit 3: Car Maintenance Savings - $1K
My car is over ten years old. Her name is Stripe. She’s loyal and I know she’ll need work soon. My goal is to save one thousand dollars so when something comes up, I’m not scrambling.
Habit 4: Getting One Month Ahead on Bills - $3k
This is a big one for me. I want everything on autopay. I want my bills lined up, steady, and predictable. Being one month ahead creates so much relief because it gives you space to breathe. I need that.
Habit 5: Consistent Sinking Funds
Sinking funds have made my budget feel calmer. I already have funds for my car, gifts, and entertainment. Now I am adding one for travel because I am going to London next September for my mom’s 65th birthday. That is important to me, and I want to prepare for it now.
My Push Goal for 2026 - $9k Emergency Fund Total
Three months of living expenses saved. Let’s go!
The Habits That Support These Goals
Two big changes have helped my budget almost immediately.
I stopped using DoorDash.
I stopped drinking.
DoorDash was draining my budget for years. I wrote a blog post about it because I was honestly shocked when I finally looked at my transactions. And drinking was a quiet money leak, too.
Thankfully, removing both has helped me stay consistent and less impulsive with spending.
How Sinking Funds Finally Made Me Feel Stable With My Money
The headlights on my car went out this week, and old me would have panicked, swiped a credit card (if I had the available credit), and spent the rest of the day stressed.
This time, I felt no pressure at all.
I used $250 from my car maintenance sinking fund, got everything fixed, and kept it moving.
That moment felt like a turning point.
For the first time in a long time, something went wrong and it did not derail my entire life. I handled it, paid for it, and kept my peace.
I still want to build that sinking fund to $1,000 so I can take care of brakes and the rest of my maintenance, but this week showed me something important.
The system is working.
And after recently filing for bankruptcy, that feels like a bigger win than I can explain.
That moment got me thinking about sinking funds and why they are the first strategy I recommend when people want to feel less stressed about their money.
What is a sinking fund?
A sinking fund is simply a small savings bucket for things you know are coming.
Think of it like a personalized safety net you build slowly, over time, so that when a predictable expense shows up, you already have money set aside for it.
Includes things like:
car repairs
gifts and holidays
dental work
annual fees
travel
home essentials
personal needs
These are not emergencies. They happen every year. The problem is that many of us wait until the last minute and then scramble. A sinking fund solves that by letting you prepare in advance, even if the deposits are small.
Why I stopped waiting for the “perfect moment”
I used to tell myself I would start sinking funds once I had more income or once my main goals were handled.
Sounds logical, but it kept me stuck.
Life kept popping up with gifts, outings, and little things I was not prepared for. Every time I gained progress, something small came along and knocked me back down.
I finally realized I didn’t need more money to start sinking funds. I just needed to start small.
How I’m doing it now
With my current budget, I simplify everything:
$10 a paycheck to gifts
$10 a paycheck for entertainment
More to travel once I get a part-time job (I need $2,000 for my mom’s birthday trip to London next year)
Car maintenance is the priority until repairs are done, then it switches to $50 a month
Christmas starts in September 2026, maybe earlier if things line up
These amounts are small on purpose.
They keep me from dipping into money that is meant for bigger goals. They protect my progress instead of slowing it down. They also give me something I never had before: peace of mind.
The most significant shift for me has been emotional.
For the first time in my adult life, money feels like something I can manage instead of something I have to recover from. Paying for those headlights without drama showed me that I am building real stability, not the kind that only looks good on paper.
My budget isn’t perfect. My income isn’t huge. However, my approach to handling money is different.
And that difference is everything.
If you want to start, here’s what I recommend…
Start tiny.
Start now.
You can start with just one category.
Here’s a simple way to begin:
Pick one predictable expense that stresses you out
Create a sinking fund just for that
Put $10 per paycheck into it (increase this every few checks by $10 more dollars if you can)
Do not touch it until the expense arrives
Celebrate the moment you use it without stress
You do not need five sinking funds to get started. You only need one.
If you are in a season where your goals feel slow or your progress feels too small to matter, please hear this….The small wins count.
The small shifts are why the big wins become possible later.
Let your future self breathe.
How to Eat More Greens Without Overthinking It
Greens have been part of my meals for years.
Spinach, kale, collards, lettuce… they are just always around in my kitchen.
For me, they are the base I build on, not something I add at the last minute.
But I know for a lot of people, eating more greens feels like a chore. It can feel boring, or like something you “should” do but never actually want to do.
That is why I want to share a few easy ways to sneak them in. Nothing complicated. Just simple swaps and habits that make it second nature to eat more leafy greens.
Greens are packed with the good stuff — vitamins, minerals, fiber.
They keep your digestion moving, help your immune system, and support long-term health. The best part is they are affordable and easy to work into what you already eat.
Here are some of my favorite ways to add more greens:
Swap fries for a side salad. Fries are always tempting, but I never regret getting a salad instead. If you do, ask for a vinaigrette instead of a creamy dressing and go for spinach or spring mix if it is an option.
Load up your sandwiches and wraps. I throw spinach, kale, or lettuce on everything. Treat greens like a topping and keep piling them on.
Blend them into smoothies. This is my favorite hack because you do not taste the greens. A frozen banana, some strawberries, almond milk, and a handful of spinach — you would never know it was in there. If you are new to green smoothies, start with spinach because it blends the best.
Make an extra green side at dinner. It does not have to be fancy. Steam spinach, sauté bok choy, or massage kale with olive oil and lemon. I usually add at least one green side to dinner each night. Easy, fast, and good for you.
Here is the thing. It is not about being perfect. It is about making progress.
One handful of greens here, one extra side there, and pretty soon it just feels natural.
And if you want more simple ideas, I put together a free guide called Eat More Plants: Quick Wins and Easy Meals to Help You Start Where You Are. Enter your info below to get it.
The $6K Reality Check that Changed My Budget
In September I spent $492.17 on Door Dash. That’s a damn car payment.
After budgeting for the last couple of years, I still never seemed to have much wiggle room. I finally took an honest look at my bank statements to identify the major leak.
I found it…Ordering extra groceries, meals, and toiletries on Door Dash. :-|
How I Got Into this Mess
I’ve been using Door Dash consistently for many years.
I used to think I was just paying for dinner or saving time by ordering my groceries, but really, I was paying for my own laziness on repeat.
Also, when I was a heavy drinker, I leaned on Door Dash to get me food (and more alcohol) for those times when I didn’t need to get behind the wheel.
Believe it or not, this number used to be higher. I checked my statement from December 2024 and it was $571.85.
The Hidden Costs
About a week ago I needed hair dye, so out of routine, I went on the app to order it.
My $35 purchase quickly turned into $50 after all the fees and tip. I paused before hitting submit and told myself, “Enough is enough,” hopped in the car and went to get my own damn hair dye.
Not only are there service fees and tipping the driver, but Door Dash (or the retailer/restaurant) charges an upsell for each item.
So, a $3 loaf of bread in the store can actually cost $3.35 or more when you purchase it via the Door Dash app.
How I Am Stopping the Leak For Good
I am in no position to waste money on this convenience.
I decided to finally move on and deleted the app and my account forever.
I have to admit that I was a little nervous to delete my account completely. Silly, I know - but I love relying on the app for those weekends when I don’t feel like leaving my apartment.
A Better Way
Before heading home Friday, I stocked up for the weekend. My first weekend without the app wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be.
Door Dash might not be your leak. Maybe it’s Amazon or subscriptions you forgot about. But we all have one.
For me it was $492 in a single month. That’s nearly $6,000 a year.
Six grand isn’t small money.
That’s an emergency fund, a debt payoff, or my mom’s birthday trip to London.
I refuse to hand it to Door Dash anymore.
Over 13 Years of Creating Content (here’s what's different this time)
“Sometimes, showing up as you are—messy, tired, figuring it out in real-time—is more than enough. Give yourself permission to move through life without constantly grading your performance. ”
There was a time when I was everywhere.
YouTube. Instagram. Pinterest. Facebook. This blog. Weekly newsletter. Podcast.
Creating content nonstop. Working with brands.
From the outside, I was doing it.
But behind the scenes, I was overwhelmed and exhausted.
I didn’t have systems.
I didn’t have consistent income streams.
And I definitely didn’t have peace.
The Reality Behind “Success”
I relied on sponsorships instead of building my own paid offers.
That meant I was popular but broke more often than not.
I never felt like I could pivot into a real business.
I was on too many platforms, trying to do what the experts said.
Reach as many people as you can!
Build the products, send the newsletter, blog, and post 5 times a week on Instagram.
It never felt like enough.
Not to mention, the struggles with my mental health made everything harder.
I would get a burst of energy, create like crazy, burn out for months, then repeat the cycle.
At one point, I had to take a job cleaning bathrooms at a gas station to make ends meet.
That was my turning point.
What I’m Doing Differently This Time
I’m not rushing.
I’m not chasing.
And I’m not creating to prove I can.
This time, I’m building a business that can breathe.
One that doesn’t require me to be present all the time to generate income.
One that’s rooted in purpose and aligned with how I want to live.
Here’s What I’ve Learned:
If you’re starting or rebuilding your business, here’s my honest advice:
Pick one (max two) social media platforms and go deep. Don’t spread yourself thin trying to be everywhere. You don’t need visibility on five platforms. You need consistency in one place. These days, you will only find me on YouTube or sending a weekly newsletter.
Show up messy. You’ll never feel ready. Post it anyway.
Batch and rest. You can take breaks and be consistent if you plan for both.
Keep your day job forever (lol). If you want a side income, but aren’t desperate, you get to build at your own pace. That’s power. One of my biggest regrets was not seeking out a full-time job fast enough when I saw the writing on the wall.
Thank you for being here. :-)